Sunday, 21 April 2013

I am asking you to stop commenting on my weight

How do I begin to explain this. One of the constant theme in my life these days is this thing called patience. The way I see it, some people have unlimited reserve of patience and I am not one of these people yet. I am pretty sure being part of this crowd has its own perks, so I tell myself that, yeah, maybe it's a good idea. That really means I have to work on being patient. I don't know whether it is a practice thing or whether what I am embarking on is basically a terrible idea, but either way, I am somewhat wishful that the former is more true than the latter.

And as is always when I make a point to be patient, my patience is tested. I am pretty sure that this is quite possibly the result of me being more aware of the whole exercise, instead of the tests coming just because I am working on my patience levels. Nevertheless, working on this is fucking exhausting and I pray every single fucking day that it is going be all worth it in the end.

The ultimate test of my patience these days comes in the form of dealing with people who tell me that I am too skinny. I am pretty sure this bunch of people do not read my blog, so they just do not know that it is just RUDE to tell other people that they are too skinny. This is because (1) you would not tell anyone that they are too fat - in fact, I dare you to tell a fat person that they are fat to their faces. I would give $100 to anyone who is willing to come up to a fat person of my choice that tell him/her that he/she is too fat. And since it is just so socially inappropriate to tell a fat person that he/she is too fat, how is that any different for someone who is too skinny? And (2) some people are just skinny, period. Yes, there are skinny people who have been fat for part of their lives. These people lose weight, become skinny and that's just the way it is because right now, being the slim versions of themselves, they are healthier than ever and they are eating more than ever.

I am ANNOYED at the number of people telling me that I am too skinny. I get that my clothes do not fit properly because most of the things in my wardrobe do not fit like they used to (they used to fit very well, thankyouverymuch), and do you people realise that it takes time to build a functional wardrobe that fits well??? Especially if you have limited time and limited funds and most of your money is paying this thing called the mortgage?

I debated with myself whether to write this and hit publish - or not. On one hand, I do ignore these people quite a lot because well, they don't give a shit about me, really. They are just built to say anything to make themselves feel better, or to make themselves look good, or both. They don't give a fucking shit when I stated all the facts that (1) I eat regularly and that (2) I eat a lot, even when I don't always eat a lot in front of them. WHY DO I HAVE TO EAT IN FRONT OF THEM?? On the other hand, my patience when it comes to this issue is running low because I am supposed to grit my teeth and hold my tongue whenever someone comes up to me and say that they think I am too skinny. The worst kind are the ones who told me in a single breath that they care about me and they do not want me to develop an eating disorder. And I am supposed to take all of these in with gratitude that there are people out there who cares about me?

Well. You obviously do not know me that well, do you. And no, I don't feel like you care about me at all when you make such terrible assumption about the state of my health, just because I am skinnier than you. In fact, I feel you are being rude to me when you say all of that because you don't fucking know how much I eat, thank you very much.

And to the next person who tells me to eat more - how about this: "I think you are too fat. You need to eat less. I am saying this because I am concerned about your well being. I do not want you to become morbidly obese."

Peace guys. Stop commenting on my weight and my eating habits. You are all so rude. I am not that patient yet.

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