Tuesday 30 April 2013

Does thinking about something too often means you want that something?

As you can already probably tell, I think a lot. A lot of thinking about far too many things. Things that I probably shouldn't think about, but do anyway, and not necessarily derive pleasure nor satisfaction from such things. In short, it gives me a headache.

But since I think about things far too often, I get headaches on a regular basis, such that I think, headches are like err.. the constant feeling that I have, so much so that I got used to them.

In case you are wondering, no, I am not thinking about inappropriate thoughts. Define inappropriate however inappropriately you want to. hehe.

My question is this: does thinking about something too often means you want that something?

I think the answer is only yes when it applies to shoes.

And then I buy the said shoes so that I stop thinking about them, only to, oh well, start thinking about a different pair of shoes, which I almost always end up buying, and the cycle goes on.

Funnily enough, this only applies to shoes for me. Yes, that sort of means I am shallow. Whatever.

Thursday 25 April 2013

And then I think about money

Lately I've been thinking a lot about money. Ok, I think a lot about money on a regular basis; it's just been waaaay more recently. I subscribe to the school of thought that money is important in this life, but it is not that important. Other things that are more important than money include health, friendships and relationships. Health can be in the form of physical health, mental health, emotional health - which overlaps with friendships and relationships. You get the idea. 

I think when discussing money, one of the things that people would never admit openly is the fact that they regard money as the most important thing in their lives. This is because, well, mostly, they just don't realise it. Or maybe because we've been so ingrained within a particular mindset that it is difficult to divorce ourselves from such views. These views often have been passed down from generation to generation, or perhaps even, eventuate out of hardships. It is not about being right or being wrong. It is just a point of view. 

I notice a trend that eventually, most people realise that money is not everything, that there are things that are more important than money in this life, and those things are so precious that even money can't buy them. I am thinking along the lines of peace of mind, an ability to fall asleep without gulping any medicine, time to spend with people who matter the most. 

Passion vs Money
The luckiest people in this planet are able to marry their passion with money; and these people are not necessarily those who work with money. These are the people who are able to generate money (an income) from their passions. For these people, being away from their work is annoying because it stops them from doing something that they love. There is no work-life balance, because work is life. For the rest of the population, work is not life, and we need work-life balance. We are also faced with the option of passion vs money. Do we pursue our passion OR do we put money first? 

We only have limited amount of time in the day. Let's say, we sleep for 7 hours a day. That leaves 17 hours of awake time, 8 hours or so we spend working, about 1 hour commuting, 1 hour of grooming, 2 hours of eating/cooking, 1 hour of rest, so if we are lucky, we have 4 hours to do whatever we want to do - i.e. pursuing a hobby or spending time with people we love, subject to their availability. Most people do not even have these 4 hours in their days - because they take longer to commute or to groom or spend more time eating/cooking/cleaning. 

What this really means is that the 8 hours or so that we spend working, for a lot of people, becomes the critical time whereby they feel like they should do something meaningful. This is only natural given that it is the largest block of time spend doing something during waking hours. So we are faced with this passion v money dilemma - most of us are. We learn to make a decision and be at peace with it, at least for the time being. We learn to adopt a more long term horizon. We basically learn to make peace with our choices. 

It does not mean that what we choose right now is what we are stuck with for the rest of our lives. We can change this any time we want to. Of course this change is difficult, it takes effort and in some cases, it takes sacrifices. But it is necessary to sustain who we are, who we really are. If we don't fight for this, then I am not sure if life is worth living for. (Ok, that's rather dramatic, but you get the point. There is no point of you living someone else's life. You gotta make your own decisions in your life and be happy with yourself.)

Money does not solve all problems  
A lot of the time we fall under this illusion that having money means we've got it all. This is a pretty common illusion to have, and this illusion is certainly one of the reasons that people put money over passion. Money does solve problems, just not all of them, and definitely not all at once.

Granted that we need a roof over our heads and nourishing meals and preferably well-fitting clothes to sustain us, but this is only the beginning. There are other things that we can utilise to enhance our lives, you know, things such as education and intellectual pursuits in general, or some creative pursuits, both of which require resources, in the form of most certainly time and money.

Being debt free has been described as an end-goal for a lot of people. There is something so bloody appealing about financial freedom that it is hard to find someone who doesn't want it (then again, who doesn't want freedom in general? Remember being a teenager and wishing that you grow up and have all the freedom in the world?). I think this is because attaining financial freedom means you free up your time to pursue your passion - or anything else that you deem meaningful for your life. Isn't nice to wake up in the morning and not worry about money - at the very minimal, it is one less thing to worry about.

That said, life does go on and with one less thing to worry about, there are bound to be other issues that arise and some of these issues you can't quite solve with money. This is somewhat rather ironic but it is also very true. When we have a problem, our first instinct is to throw more resources (i.e. money) into the problem in the hope that it will solve it. But more often than not, throwing more money into something, without proper planning, ends up exacerbating the problem. Or even worse, it creates more problems.

Having money creates new problems
Having more money is a challenge that everyone welcomes (come on, who doesn't want more money) but not everyone can successfully tackle (i.e. spend utilise wisely). I personally believe that being able to have more money means a more responsibility to spend it appropriately. Look at Bill Gates and Warren Buffett that pledge their wealth to social causes. These are the kinds of responsibility that I am referring to.

The thing about having more money (or just having money) means that we get comfortable - or sometimes, too comfortable. And when we get too comfortable, we forget to grow. Or maybe we still grow, but we may forget to grow in more innovative ways because nothing is really pushing us to our limits. When we are pushed to our limits, we discover new things about us that we previously never thought about before. We grow in ways that we could not previously imagine.

One of the challenges of having money is to ensure that they get utilised in a way that's most rewarding. One of the challenges of not having money is to ensure that what you've got is being utilised in a way that's more rewarding. The latter is easier than the former because in the latter scenario, you only get to focus on your top priorities, and probably have to make do without for the rest of things of your list. With the former, you get to satisfy your top priorities and then you have decisions to make as to what to do with the rest.

My favourite reading on money is this piece by the Financial Samurai: no point making money if you don't spend it. And with that, I am going to end this post.

Happy Anzac Day! 

Sunday 21 April 2013

I am asking you to stop commenting on my weight

How do I begin to explain this. One of the constant theme in my life these days is this thing called patience. The way I see it, some people have unlimited reserve of patience and I am not one of these people yet. I am pretty sure being part of this crowd has its own perks, so I tell myself that, yeah, maybe it's a good idea. That really means I have to work on being patient. I don't know whether it is a practice thing or whether what I am embarking on is basically a terrible idea, but either way, I am somewhat wishful that the former is more true than the latter.

And as is always when I make a point to be patient, my patience is tested. I am pretty sure that this is quite possibly the result of me being more aware of the whole exercise, instead of the tests coming just because I am working on my patience levels. Nevertheless, working on this is fucking exhausting and I pray every single fucking day that it is going be all worth it in the end.

The ultimate test of my patience these days comes in the form of dealing with people who tell me that I am too skinny. I am pretty sure this bunch of people do not read my blog, so they just do not know that it is just RUDE to tell other people that they are too skinny. This is because (1) you would not tell anyone that they are too fat - in fact, I dare you to tell a fat person that they are fat to their faces. I would give $100 to anyone who is willing to come up to a fat person of my choice that tell him/her that he/she is too fat. And since it is just so socially inappropriate to tell a fat person that he/she is too fat, how is that any different for someone who is too skinny? And (2) some people are just skinny, period. Yes, there are skinny people who have been fat for part of their lives. These people lose weight, become skinny and that's just the way it is because right now, being the slim versions of themselves, they are healthier than ever and they are eating more than ever.

I am ANNOYED at the number of people telling me that I am too skinny. I get that my clothes do not fit properly because most of the things in my wardrobe do not fit like they used to (they used to fit very well, thankyouverymuch), and do you people realise that it takes time to build a functional wardrobe that fits well??? Especially if you have limited time and limited funds and most of your money is paying this thing called the mortgage?

I debated with myself whether to write this and hit publish - or not. On one hand, I do ignore these people quite a lot because well, they don't give a shit about me, really. They are just built to say anything to make themselves feel better, or to make themselves look good, or both. They don't give a fucking shit when I stated all the facts that (1) I eat regularly and that (2) I eat a lot, even when I don't always eat a lot in front of them. WHY DO I HAVE TO EAT IN FRONT OF THEM?? On the other hand, my patience when it comes to this issue is running low because I am supposed to grit my teeth and hold my tongue whenever someone comes up to me and say that they think I am too skinny. The worst kind are the ones who told me in a single breath that they care about me and they do not want me to develop an eating disorder. And I am supposed to take all of these in with gratitude that there are people out there who cares about me?

Well. You obviously do not know me that well, do you. And no, I don't feel like you care about me at all when you make such terrible assumption about the state of my health, just because I am skinnier than you. In fact, I feel you are being rude to me when you say all of that because you don't fucking know how much I eat, thank you very much.

And to the next person who tells me to eat more - how about this: "I think you are too fat. You need to eat less. I am saying this because I am concerned about your well being. I do not want you to become morbidly obese."

Peace guys. Stop commenting on my weight and my eating habits. You are all so rude. I am not that patient yet.

Thursday 18 April 2013

Charming scientists and the day I discover I have holes in my stockings

Right. So the New Zealand MP managed to catch my attention by saying this line:

"We are allowing two people who love each other to have that recognised, and I cannot see what is wrong with that for neither love nor money."

Scientists can be so charming, I tell you. Then again, I've always had a thing for smart men.

Lately I've been thinking quite a lot about the things that we do for money. What is it that we would forsake in the name of money? This morning, I found out that my stockings had holes in them. And to be frank, I am not sure if it was because I was rushing this morning that caused them, or whether I sub-consciously wore stockings with holes, but given I was pressed on time, I just thought oh well, I am going to have one more wear out of them and then I will chuck them at the end of the day. And I am going to spend the day wishing that the holes do not get any bigger than they already are. Except that of course, I discovered new holes as soon as I got to the office (argh).

I told my boyf that I got holes in my stockings. He said, I hate having holes in my socks. They make me feel poor. That caught me speechless. Because I never thought about being poor that way. But then again, it's got a lot of elements of truth it in: (1) you are too poor to buy new socks/stockings and (2) you are too poor to mend them (both monetary and time wise). So, one can't help but to feel poor.

Sometimes there are like "themes" in your life because certain topics just pop up somewhat rather randomly, but in the grand scheme of things that is like, your life, they actually make sense and if you look carefully, they might even tell you something. I get that holes in my stockings are probably first world problems than anything else, but really, seriously, I am not inclined to solve the world's poverty or even going as far as thinking about educating the world when I am struggling as it is with doing all the things that I want to do.

I mean, is it wrong if you want to do things because of money? Particularly because we need money to survive in this life? Like to pay rent or mortgage and to pay for food and everything else? Do we not need money to be self-reliant? I mean, sure, we can rely on the generousity of others and believe in abundance and bla bla bla, but everytime someone is being generous towards us, that person has to do something to earn that money so that he/she can help us. Let's not forget that if we are not working to our maximum abilities, then we are really putting the burden onto someone else. I guess I am somewhat idealistic in this view - yet, I think, it is also true because my tax contributions get distributed towards the less fortunate members of our society, so that would be my good deeds for the year, thankyouverymuch.

I am tempted to use that justification for doing things because of money, but I think to attribute work solely towards the attainment of monetary gains is rather shallow for my likings. It is like there are things that I do that are not exactly generating positive NPV right now, and to a stranger it is weird and a waste of time. But I can't quite deny that the benefits that I do get are far beyond monetary gains. That said, if I get to do all of these with some form of positive NPV, that would be like icing on the cake, that much closer to perfection. It would just make it that much better. Simply because it takes away the resentment of being tired with hardly any monetary gains. This is why I don't really do manual labour.

Yes, there are a lot of things that we do in this life in the name of money and there are also a lot of things that we do in this life in the name of anything else other than money - like for example, love, or, as I discovered some years back when I first watched Troy, women. It's like, whoa, you would get into war in the name of love for a woman. It is really shit if you actually die in the war because you can't exactly love her when you're dead. This is not about me being cynical when it comes to love, but it is so impractical, no? Not to mention a waste of resources? Why is that in all these wars, no one bothered to ask the woman in question, who is it that you'd like to be with? And the loser should just well, let go.

Ah, letting go. That's another topic, another time.
 

Saturday 13 April 2013

I wasn't impressed

As the title would've given away, this is going to be a ranting blog post.

Yes, I know that I said I am not going to rant in this space, but give me a break okay, I can get free pass every now and then.

In my older age (gah), I try to keep an open mind when it comes to trying new things. This is because quite a lot of the time, I do not have the luxury of time - time to spend doing leisurely stuff, you know. So when I do make the time (and it doesn't come very often), I'd like to make the most of it.

Despite the glowing reviews of Mr Wong (google it yourself), I am of view that it fell short of my expectations. And I didn't even have much to begin with. Some of the food I consumed tonight was okay. Out of the 10 or dishes that we ordered, only two things stood out for me: the steamed fish with chilly and the dumplings (yes, I know that some of you are not a big fan of the dumplings - at least they were not greasy). The service was atrocious, so much so that I don't even want to talk about it (seriously, getting the attention of a wait staff took forever, and paying the bill was a process that took longer than 5 minutes. Call me impatient, but when your customer, or anyone, really, wants to hand you over some money, bloody hell, just take it quickly, will ya??)

I would gladly pay a premium for good food and good service. But when these two things were not done brilliantly (or at least close to it), I felt cheated. It doesn't matter that you publish your menu on your website. When the delivery of service is shit, it's pretty much downhill from here. There is a reason as to why you are in the service industry.

On the same note, restaurants who do not answer their phones when I want to make a reservation also annoy the fuck out of me. There are people who would like to hand over their hard earned money to you at some point in the future, if you don't answer your phone, they feel rejected, and because they do, they go somewhere else, in search for something that they can have.

This is why the best restaurants are the ones that take customers' money as soon as they take their orders. Like McDonalds, for example. Even KFC is not like this. I haven't been to Japan, but I've been told that there quite a number of restaurants in Japan that do this, and I think these people got the most important thing sorted. I personally cannot think of a better business model for restaurants at this point in time.

So, needless to say, I did not leave a tip and I am not sure I'd like to come back to Mr Wong. If you don't do your job properly, there shall be no additional reward. I get that sometimes the poor performance of the wait staff is a function of the restaurant's policies and processes and procedures, so really, I shouldn't be not tipping (yes, poor sentence construction) because it is really not the wait staff's fault. But what can I say? I was a customer, I have parted with my money and we live in Australia whereby tipping is not the culture because wait staff gets decent wages (supposedly), unlike the land of the US of A whereby they get minuscule wages and rely heavily to make a living. In short, no, I am not sorry.

Wednesday 10 April 2013

Quick update

1. Running out of time to do all the things I want to do, again. I feel so lame writing this.
2. Because of (1), I don't get to see all the people I want to see. I feel even more lame writing this.
3. My only consolation when it comes to my busy schedule is that I have enough time to buy and eat fried chicken. I've been told by le boyf that he thinks my diet consists of fried food in excess. I agree. I just can't let go of eating fried chicken. I convince myself that I only have a limited period of time whereby I can do this without serious immediate consequences. But I do feel somewhat guilty because I am clogging my arteries.
4. Woke up this morning with intention to run 0 kms. Don't exactly know what happened, but ended up running 6.2kms. Felt very accomplished afterwards.
5. Toyed for about 30 seconds, with the idea of running the City2Surf, again. I told myself that if the gap between distance actually ran and distance intended to run is like 6.2kms, then technically, I can just go in with the intention of running 8kms and may actually end up running 14kms.
6. So many great people in my life were born in April, which pretty much made sure that I am so looking forward to pay day. I've never felt more excited about pay day than I am these days. What? Money is meant to be spent, okay.
7. Ran out of milk and eggs this morning. One of my worst nightmares because right now, I am famished from the run, oh well, a great excuse to buy bacon and eggs with my coffee. Yes, I know, my arteries!!
8. Don't know whether I like Naruone or whether I hate Naruone. Their fried chicken is definitely one of the best I've ever tried so far, but that place is a friggin' rip off and the wait staff are uniformly rude with non-existent English language abilities. I have never come into a worse Korean restaurant.
9. Running out of time writing this post, so it has to abruptly end here. Happy mid-week!

Sunday 7 April 2013

Randomness

Oh, hi! Daylight savings ends today and I unexpectedly had an extra hour, which I spent running (of course) and that was so good because right now, I get to just enjoy the best thing about running, which is this feeling after the run. Sure I hate this feeling of being drenched in sweat, hot and absolutely sticky, but it is also strangely good at the same time, almost addictive kind of thing. 

I guess that time has finally come, whereby I actually enjoy doing this. I never thought that I would've said this in a million years, and I hated running for as long as I possibly could. I don't know why I persisted with it for so long. Because right now, I cannot imagine my life without it. Actually I can, and that is not a pretty sight. Dare I say that for the first time in my life I actually understand why people like exercising? Or specifically, running. 

Ok, this entry will end abruptly here. Because I am hungry. I am off to get ready for some fried chicken!! I missed out on the last bowls from Bar Pho yesterday and I am still bummed about it. I blame you for raising my standards of phos. That, plus my inability to let go. Oh well. 

Friday 5 April 2013

Impression

One of the things that continues to baffle me in life is the question of impression. Who is it that you are trying to impress in this life? And with what?

Anyone who is faced with this question would almost always say that they are not trying to impress anyone, really. Or that they are not trying to impress anyone with anything, really. But I am not sure that this is true most of the time, especially for those who seem to care a little bit too much about what other people think about them.

We all like to think that other people think so much about us, and truth is that, they don't think that much about us. We don't think that much about them, we think more about ourselves, and it is natural that everyone thinks more about themselves and not so much of others because oh well, if you don't think about yourself, then who would?

A lot of people say they want the truth, but they do not want honesty.