Tuesday, 2 July 2013

What it really means

There comes a time in your life whereby you have done every single thing that you could have possibly thought about, and exhausted all of your options, not so much because you can influence a particular outcome that you so desperately want, but because if you do not go through the distance, you would not be able to sleep at night knowing that you've done everything possible to influence this outcome.

The outcome that you have no control of, and if you really consider it carefully, you have no influence whatsoever.Quite literally one of those things that you have to leave to this thing called fate. Destiny. Whatever.

This is a very painful, painful period that causes endless worries and endless stress and one that you wish you can just forget for a single minute and just walk away, even for a little while, except that, you can't. Not so much because it follows you but because you just cannot let go even when you know should.

Some people call it procrastination, others call it indecisiveness. I call it, a reluctance to grow up.

They always say that growing up is optional. Growing old happens with time, like every single second of every single day. There's no denying this, this happens with breathing. Then there's this thing called growing up. And that's apparently optional.

Okay. I never quite understood this in its absolute truth because I think everyone changes every day, and part of this change is surely about growing up, right? Right? I'd like to believe this for as long as I could until the day comes that I was proven wrong.

And I have been proven wrong so many times - usually by people who actually older than me. The oldest person who proved me wrong is a good eighteen years older than me and successfully earned him the title "the biggest loser" in the literal sense of the word, not the weight loss championship kind.

I am not an expert on growing up, in fact, I don't think anyone is, really. Some people are really good at growing up while others are just completely hopeless at it. Some people jump at the chance of growing up, even when they may not necessarily realise that it was indeed a chance to grow up. But these people are genuinely excited with the prospect of change and embrace change when it comes their way. In fact, some of them are so keen on change that they are willing to facilitate change in their lives. Change, when induced voluntarily, is often more exciting, more fulfilling, more satisfying by the mere virtue that you get to be the change agent in your own life. It makes you feel like you are in control of your destiny - at least a lil bit, you know.

Why is it so hard to live by the values that we really truly honestly believe in? These are not the values that other people or society deem as important, but the ones that you've figured out as important, and you happen to be the odd one out in this scenario. It is like everyone always says that money doesn't make you happy. I think this is an overgeneralisation of two kinds of people (1) ones who are rich and unhappy or (2) ones who are naturally unhappy. For most people in this planet, money does make them happy, to a certain extent. It is certainly not the answer to everything, but it does answer something. I am view that people who have money and are still miserable do not know how to spend their money. Again, once they find out how to spend their money in a way that makes them happy, they will cease being miserable, at least for a while. The mere fact of spending their money is not going to make them perpetually happy, but it would make them happy for a while. Now that I think about this, I find it rather offensive that when it comes to money, people expect it to be the solver of every problem in this planet, like it has to bring them perpetual happiness before it can be labelled as "bringing happiness". I don't think there is any other object in this planet which has been given this heavy label to bear on a daily basis.

It's like this: if you don't like the colour orange, it does not mean that the rest of the population dislike the colour orange. If you don't like the colour orange, it does not mean that you hate the fruit orange. If you don't like the colour orange, it means exactly that, you.do.not.like.the.colour.orange thankyouverymuch. You would not spend time to explain yourself as to why you don't like the colour orange nor would you be convincing others to share your views so that they too would dislike the colour orange. So why is that when it comes to money (or insert any other "important" thing here, like career, or gasp, life!), we spend so much time convincing other people to share our views? Why is this suddenly so important?

I appreciate that there are people out there who are willing to share their views, and most bloggers out there actually do present their personal views on a lot of things. This is part of the reason that I actually read other blogs. I get to see a different side of my friends that I would otherwise not see. Our blogs open discussions about things we otherwise would not talk about, things, in my opinion, that are somewhat important to talk about, like money, rent, bills, mortgage, career, aspirations bla bla bla. Adult stuff, you know.

But I do not believe that to be friends we have to agree with each other all the time. To be friends, we have to make time for each other most of the time, and if you can't or won't make time for me, then I am not so sure that we are friends. Or perhaps, this is just my definition of friendship, and subsequently cannot be generalised to everyone's definition of friendship. Thus, if you want to adopt this definition, just make sure that it is consistent with how you view your life. And that goes for everything that I write about in this blog.

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