I am done with eating: I want to eat dessert first

I am adapting to a new life, one that started a few weeks ago (at the time of writing). In this relatively new life, I have been cramming more things into my schedule. This is something that I would not recommend under any circumstances, so the mere fact that I did it to myself is somewhat rather baffling to me. The biggest take away from all of these is that time is a precious commodity, but I have not been valuing it like so. Perhaps because I take pleasure in doing something productive with my time. The resultant effect is that I am always running out of time, and I hate running out of time because I feel like I am always rushing. I hate rushing because it takes enjoyment out of whatever it is I am doing. I am not busy. I am just constantly tired and flat out and hungry. Ok, perhaps hungry is not so much attributed to this, since I am hungry all the time, irrespective of how much food I eat. Seriously. I am starting to give up on this whole eating thing. Whether I eat or I don't eat, I am still hungry. No more. I am done.

KIDDING. I love eating. Given that I am often short on time, I just wish that I get to eat what I want to eat when I want it. Every time we go out to a restaurant, I always wish we would just order dessert and skip everything else. Because that's what I really want to eat. But because of some societal acceptability reasons, I have to go through the whole entree and main sequence, before I can get to dessert. This is such a waste of time and not to mention, stomach space. By the time I get the chance to order dessert, I would be so full that I would not feel like eating dessert. It's like, the moment has been lost, the appetite is gone. Because of this, I rarely eat dessert these days. But I love it nonetheless. Perhaps a lot more now than I've ever done before. I have no self control when dessert is around.

Why we put dessert as the last course is one of the things that baffles me to no end. Who decided that the order of things should be entree, main and then dessert. Why can't dessert be first, for once? At least for the people with sweet tooth. Seriously. If we allow ourselves the chance to eat dessert first, then perhaps the world wouldn't be so fat. 

For this reason, sometimes I find it easier to sit down and eat meals with people I actually like. Because the chance of me eating the food I like with these people are higher. It's not so much that we like the same things, but it's more that we are more tolerant of what each other likes. In my younger days, I agreed to a quick catch up with some old acquaintances, with one of them insisting that we ate Thai food. I am allergic to coconut, they ordered curry. It was one of the worst tortures of my life. Never again.

Why is it so hard to just stay true to ourselves, pick one course of action and then leave it to other people to accept that? Especially if our chosen course of action somewhat deviates from societal expectations, like eating dessert first. Or like you gotta get married once you reach a certain age, and once you're married, you have to have children; or something that's more prevalent in Asian society: you have to earn this much money, do this kind of job, amass this much wealth - never mind that it is actually good enough that you do an honest, legit job for a living, or that you are doing something remarkable like saving the world from itself and/or fighting poverty (or at least try to). 

Why do we have to keep on apologising for wanting to do something that is outside of this 'norm'? 

 

We know that we should just life life; make no apology and just bloody own it: this is your life. This is a concept that sounds so simple on paper yet rather difficult to implement in life. How many times do we make decisions because someone else wants us to make that decision? How many times do we do things that we otherwise would not have done just to keep someone (we may or may not love) happy? How often do we do things for this thing called "image", or as some people would put it, "what would other people thing?". Why do we place so much importance on what others think? It is so self-absorbed to assume that others think that much about you, because chance is that they don't. How much do you think about others? You think about yourself all the time because it is human tendency to think about oneself, which is why we are taught to be selfless, you see, as there is a good chance that it doesn't come naturally (yet it can be learned). 

Because sometimes, all that I ever wanted, is to eat dessert first. And it kills me that I can't.

***
I am on Twitter, instagram and another blog. This is probably why I perpetually feel like I am always running out of time.