Missing you

I am missing my cousin.

I am sitting in my apartment listening to Elf Radio, because that is what you do when your ipod died and you have absolutely no back up for whatever that's in it (let's not go down that path). Because that is what you do in the days leading to Christmas (at the time of writing) and you want to immerse your soul into this once-a-year event, to just simply be like most people in this city: remembering what's important, why they are important and more importantly, giving thanks for all of those, and so much more.

My cousin, the one I am missing, is my biggest fan. She believes in me all the time without fail, and especially when everyone else seems to give up. If there is any lesson on the power of love, then this would be it because this is definitely a love that moved me to be a better person. It is a scary realisation when I first discovered that there is someone out there who for some reason I am yet to comprehend, genuinely believes that I am awesome. I used to attribute this to her age, or lack thereof, and as such, it was easier for her to maintain a seemingly unrealistic belief, something that we often call idealistic, as if everything that she thinks about will just make their way to reality eventually. But time proves me wrong, and this is one of the things in life whereby I am happy to be wrong about.

Because despite her youth, in a lot of ways she has matured way beyond me, and her stoic belief on her ideals meant that she has worked out what she deems important and that subsequently drives what she wants to do and how she lives her life. This trait seems to run deeply in my Dad's side of the family (how it bypasses me is still beyond me), and thus means that this side of the family produces some incredibly awesome people who work out what they want in life and then get out there to achieve them, and doing so enthusiastically and unapologetically, as well as persistently, especially when obstacles are on their way. Brick walls are meant to be overcome - either you dig a tunnel or you find a ladder or you practise your high jump.

Such tenacity is something I always find admirable in a person, especially a person so young. It is also something that I seek to have each and every day as I live my own life and struggle with whatever it is that I have to struggle with, and the battle is, for lack of a better description, never-ending and exhausting. And to be able to do so every single day, overcoming all uncertainties and still focusing one's effort towards the destination, oh, can anyone imagine how tiring it is? Plus doing all of that with a smile on your face, an undying enthusiasm and a blind belief that one day you will get there, somehow.

My cousin always sees the good in people, and it is natural that her opinion on me is biased because well, we are related. That's ok because in this life we need people who love us like that because even when we are separated by the Pacific ocean, the thought of someone like that warms our hearts and makes this life that much better.

I am missing my cousin tonight.